NaijaDate

Perhaps you have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

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If you are into online dating, there are chances that you will eventually meet some of the people whom you chat with online and arrange to go for that very important first outing. However, online dating is very different than dating someone that you meet in the ‘real world’. But what do you do, if you both meet for the first time and there is this feeling of, this is wrong?  What do you do, if you are uncomfortable with the meeting?  You need to be prepared to be honest with yourself and with your date about how things are going so that you don’t agree to a second outing that you really don’t want.

There can be several reasons why you don’t feel comfortable on your first date. 

Perhaps the compatibility is missing or perhaps you are feeling vulnerable. Or

Perhaps your self esteem is in jeopardy and you know that things won’t work out between you.  Maybe the most important thing to do at that moment is politely thank them for the outing, and ask that the outing end early enough.  You should never feel compelled to continue with the outing, if you are feeling uncomfortable or threatened.

There are some tips that you need to know so that your online dating experience is as safe and as positive as possible.

You will most likely be very nervous and excited when it comes to the time to meet your online date.  The experience can be very thrilling but it’s important that you are security conscious when you meet for the very first time.  Always bear in mind that this is someone you haven’t met yet and there will be many things that you don’t know about them.  Below are some of the things you can do to make your first date safe and exciting at the same time.

• Make sure that you carry your cell phone with you on your first date and that you also let your close friends know where you are going.  You might want to consider having someone call you on your cell phone as a check in so they know you are alright. You want to be safety conscious in case you need to leave in a hurry.  Online dating demands that you feel in control of a situation that you really want.  And when you lose this control you have the right to opt out.

• Use your own method of transportation to get to and from the venue of the date.  You don’t want to accept a lift into a car on your first date.

• Try to limit your in-take of alcohol if you must drink.  This is because alcohol can ease your inhibition and affect your judgment.  So, if you are going to be drinking on your first date make sure that you keep your drink in view at all times so that nothing can be slipped into it.  Ensure you don’t get drunk so that you can be in control at all times.

• Pay for half of the expenses incurred on your first date.  This is because you won’t have any obligation to return the favour.

• Meet in a public place such as restaurant, café or eatery.  You want to be sure that there are a lot of people around in case things go wrong.

• Always arrange to meet your date somewhere rather than having them come to your home.  You don’t want to let them know where you live so that they won’t have to find you if the date doesn’t work out. 

Dating can be fun.  But practice safety and be practical in the decisions that you make about your date.

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For anyone who is involved in online dating, their goal is to find that right person either for dating or for a long term relationship.  Despite all the negativity around online dating there are many success stories of people who have met the right person for them and are having a great time.

Your first date is going to be the starting point of whether or not there are more dates in the future.  So what do you do if you are having a good time and you want a second date?  The only thing that you can do is let your date know that you are interested in more of the same thing.

When you are finally ready to meet someone on a first date whom you have met online, you may have the intention of making it great.  First dates can sometimes be a bit difficult to work out since there are many things that you want to put into consideration.  Your final choice for a first date idea will depend on how much you want to spend, whether it’s a day time or night time date, and the interests that the two of you share.  Since you met online and probably have been talking over the phone, you may have each shared your likes, dislikes, and interests, so narrowing down something to do on your first date should be easy.

You might want to choose an inexpensive date for the first time around so that you can each pay your way and not feel an obligation to pay for a second date.  Some good inexpensive places to meet in your first date include –

• The Movie – going to the movies is always a good choice since it allows for communicating with each other to get a feel of the other person.  You may both agree on the choice of films you are going to watch.

• A Beach Outing – you may even consider going to the beach if the weather is right. Take along a basket of food and wine and enjoy the outing just relaxing in the sun as you get to know each other.

• A Dinner – is an expensive way of celebrating a first date but should be reserved for someone you feel particularly attracted to.

Online dating involves being blunt.  If you are having a good time, you need to let your date know so that you can both make plans for another date or mutually agree that this will be the only date.  Just because you think the date has been a success doesn’t mean that your date will think so.  This is where honesty comes in:  You both need to say what you feel so that you know whether you are making success in your dating or not.

Dating has become a big part of society over the last few years and this means that many people are meeting strangers face to face.  The first meeting can be full of anxiety and stressful as you both step out of your comfort zone and brace up the courage to meet for the first time.

There are some things that you should think about when you are preparing to meet your date for the first time.  The most important thing that you can remember is to be yourself and to have fun.

More so, try to look best.  You will want to take extra care with your appearance and grooming so that you leave a good first impression.  Chances are that you will do this anyway no matter where you meet your date.

The one thing to keep in mind is that you be yourself and don’t just dress anyhow if it’s not something that you are comfortable with.  Walk into your first date with no expectations.  Keep an open mind and be ready for anything.  Some people leave a good impression online but don’t do so well when it comes to meeting in person.

The key to this success is taking a chance and being honest with oneself.

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Many people who look for dates are looking for that long term relationship that is going to lead to more.  However, there are just as many people who make a habit of looking for dates without ever taking it to the next level.  These type of people never plan to settle down rather they enjoy the thrill of dating a large number of people for the fun of it.

Although this can be fun momentarily, it can also lead to an obsession with dating that is unhealthy for everyone.  One way of assessing your obsession with dating is if you find yourself abruptly ending outings early so that you can keep another outing appointment with another date.

How do you expect to enjoy your present date if you are already looking out for the next one? Another way to know if you are a professional dater, is if you find it difficult to decide the different qualities and personality traits of your present date and someone who is entirely new.

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No matter who you are, you are looking for someone that is just like you or at least a compatible partner.  In other words, people are looking for normal people.  There is no one out there that is expecting to hook up with someone that is too complex, too busy, too overwhelming, or someone that is too above them.

Certainly, every guy wants a lady with all of the finest body statistics, but the truth is that they are really looking for someone that is more normal and pretty.  How can this be?  Doesn’t everyone think about looks first in this world?

In reality, people tend to look more for those that are normal and just like them because they do not want to feel or end up being rejected.  We all fear rejection and at the level of dating, it is the same.

Remember those times you have gone on outings and seen individuals you really admired and thought, if you would ever get a chance to relate with them.  For this reason, ladies and guys out there should bear in mind that their personality should be, beyond everything else normal and always exude friendliness.

Don’t try to make yourself look like a supermodel because you end up looking very fake.  And don’t even try to increase your importance by saying that you have a different job than you do.  And also don’t claim to have special characteristics when you really do not.  People are looking for just normal people.

Conclusively, if you wish to be successful at dating, you should portray the image of a normal person that is happy, friendly and positive.  That is going to trip your admirers.  Remember, first impression matters.

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